THE AMERICAN LORD’S PRAYER

(With apologies to Jesus)

 

Our Father

Who art in Washington

Hallowed be thy name–Uncle Sam.

Thy kingdom come,

Thy will be done,

On earth as it is in America.

Give us this day our daily benefits and entitlements,

And exterminate our enemies in Syria, Yemen, Iran and North Korea.

As you did in Vietnam, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Tokyo and Dresden.

But lead us not into freedom,

And deliver us from our responsibilities,

For thine is the tuition grant,

And the housing voucher,

And the flood insurance

And Social Security,

Now and forever

Amen.